Decisions, Decisions

Decisions, decisions… How do we really deal with the hard ones?

2017 was certainly a year of change for me on a personal level, with dramatic endings happening on a weekly basis. (I know I am among friends when I say this). It felt like a never-ending soap opera and that is putting it mildly.

So, how did all of my craziness begin? Well, it started because I made a life-changing decision that had a domino effect on everything else and I mean Everything else. This decision came from me because:

a. My life was spiraling out of control

b. I felt I was deeply unhappy

c. My body told me so.

I had chronic back pain and had turned to taking strong painkillers every day (which are addictive by the way, and numbing, and probably the worst thing you can do—actually, absolutely the worst thing). Turns out my back pain seemed to have been linked to my unhappiness really because I do not take painkillers anymore but I no longer get back pain either. Treatment was, had I just moved out of a situation I was not happy in. Mmmm, something to think about? What are the signals we receive from our body when we are in deep emotional pain?

Other times, the decision of change is forced upon us and we have no choice. Tragic loss, redundancy, being forced to leave your home? Just some examples.

Making decisions, big decisions, life-changing decisions is hard, there is no doubt about it, and due to the fact that many of us do not have a crystal ball or are able to see into the future, we have to make these decisions based not only on factual information but also on how we feel.

Addressing our deepest feelings and emotions can be a daunting, in fact, a downright petrifying thought, because deep in the recess of our souls we have no idea what we will find. (Unless you are constantly doing the inner work, in which case I salute you tremendously because this shit is hard and really for the brave.)

I am very fortunate to have a fantastic network of emotionally intelligent, switched on friends who were without a doubt my rocks, my voice of reason and total cheerleaders to “not give up”—which of course I felt like doing a multitude of times—I do not say this lightly. I thank them enormously.

So, I guess what I am trying to express here is that in making big life-changing decisions there are some pretty important tools for the job at hand:

Arm yourself with a list of facts for your decision making.

Delve deep into what has brought you to the space you are in. This one is hard and could take a while but persevere and be honest.

Look at how you FEEL pitched against how you want to FEEL in the future. I highly recommend Danielle La Porte’s book The Desire Map. It is all about feeling good.

Seek counsel. I, unfortunately, missed the relationship counseling which I still feel would have been the best thing my husband and I could have done at the end of our marriage because even though we may have still come to the same conclusion, I feel we would have had more success at doing this with grace and ease.

However, here I am finally, showing up to fulfill my dream and I now feel in alignment to deliver these with love.

With much love and gratitude to my counsel, you know who you are. I thank you with all my ❤️.