Change /CHānj/ - Verb - the act or instance of making or becoming different
Change is a scary thing. We all know this to be true. It's like the “monster under your bed” we all believed in as a child. It’s hard to forget about it when it’s something you know to be there but you just can see it, but you feel it's underlying presence at all times. You can get so used to one way of life, going ever day with this comforting feeling of a constant routine. This routine feels so safe for countless reasons. It can make you think, “Why would I ever want to give this up” so it’s understandable when you get even one small, daunting thought about changing your set way of life and you get spine chilling feelings. Even if the change would ultimately be for the better.
At times I️ have found myself being so afraid of this monster that is change. It has pushed me to keep toxic things in my life instead of taking that initiative to make a change for the better. The fear people can have, including myself, mutes the beautiful music that comes along with any change, and makes the sounds of current circumstances ring better in the ears of the hurting. When in reality, relief and a more rewarding life is right around the corner, but that fear of the possibility of it not being better keeps people from even taking a peak around that corner.
In my experience with change, if you are even just thinking about cutting a person off, taking control of a situation in a different way, or anything that will cause a dramatic shift in your day to day life, it is most likely going to be for the best. You have to learn to act on your doubts instead of keeping them locked away. Try looking past the scary surface of change, and you will be shown all the opportunities it can and WILL bring to your life.
I️ was in a very bad place in my life back two or so years ago. It was due to the loss of a very close loved one, friends not being there for me anymore, and a plethora of other things. I️ felt very alone and the school I️ was attending at that time was not helping my situation at all. The people who I️ once called some of my closest friends seemed to have faded away like an old coat of paint, and I had no say in the matter. The pain of seeing them every day brought upon me feelings of doubt. I️ knew that things would never be the same again. All the nights spent with them laughing until 5 AM, every secret that had ever rolled off my tongue with so much trust into their ears, even the simple hours worth of phone calls we would have. I️ knew all of it was gone just like that, and it was really taking a toll on me in negative ways. I found that the acceptance of them being gone was not the issue. I️ had already come to terms with that part. It was the ever growing fear of what was next that haunted my mind. I️ didn’t want anything to be different, but I also wanted and more so NEEDED my life back.
I️ was still beyond terrified of the change that needed to come, but in the back of my head I️ knew I️ couldn’t go on the way I️ was. And with that I️ decided I️ needed a new start. A clean slate was my solution. The place I once loved and felt safe at because of all the people that had once brought me so much joy had turned into more of a prison of heartbreaking thoughts in a matter of months. So with the support of my family I made the strenuous decision to get a new start.
Moving schools was one of the most difficult things I️ have ever done, but I️ would never take it back in a million years. I️ made many new friends, I️ was coping with my loss in better ways, the life lessons I was learning seemed to just keep coming, and I️ could feel my mental state getting immensely better. I️ really felt illuminated, a sweet smell grazed my nose at all times, colors where somehow more bright and beautiful, and my heart seemed to pump so much harder and with more enthusiasm for the next. I was finally happy again.
The monster named change that I️ had known my whole life seemed to have dissolved into an angel known as a new beginning. With that experience I️ learned its okay for your life to change. I️ also learned that happiness is always in arms reach, you just have to stretch a little to get to it, and if changing parts of your life is that stretch to get to your happiness, do it. Because in the end it will all work out no matter how scary it may seem right now. Think about how scared a caterpillar must be when it starts to craft its cocoon. Not having any idea of what the future may hold for it, but if it wasn’t for its crazy amount of bravery, it would never become the beautiful butterfly it has always been on the inside.
Be that caterpillar in your everyday life. Don’t be scared of change. Let change take your life to new heights. Never again be afraid to become that thriving butterfly I️ know you can become ❤️🦋