I have never posted to this website before. I think I saw it as an ad? But I like talking here (typing here?) for several reasons.
- No one here knows me!
- I can say whatever I want!
- It gets me out of my head and creating something!
Anyways, I hope this helps you!
Today I will be talking about what happens when you go to college and find yourself faced with complete and utter boredom.
First, I need to give you a little bit of backstory.
I am an extrovert. I finally know this to be a fact. After studying abroad for two weeks this summer—solely alone in London, England—I confirmed that when I am alone for more than six hours, my depression and lack of ambition increases.
Flash forward—here I am, back in college, this time in my sophomore year!! And even though I am taking 17 credits and cast in a play, I still must deal and cope with the fact that anytime I am alone for more than six hours, I get extremely bored, and lose sight of my long term goals.
(There is a probably a word for this, but as of now I have kind of just assumed it is a result of my ADHD and anxiety. PSA: Don't let anyone tell you mental health is a myth. We are out here suffering alongside you!)
I have been working on ways to combat this meaninglessness that I feel on a daily basis, and I figured writing about it might make things better. I suggest, if you're following along with this essay, to list the things you want to do, and compare them to another list of the things you end up doing instead. Here's mine:
Things I want to do:
- Get better at piano
- Get better at guitar
- Get better at dance
- Not talk so much
- Stay more organized.
Side note: Wow, look it's nice to write out my goals!! I guess they're actually real!
Things I end up doing instead:
- Sleeping (for too long during afternoon naps)
- Looking at stupid memes on instagram
- Watching (and of course crying) over random (and heartfelt!!) facebook videos
- Eating entire bags of chips and licking Nutella off a spoon.
- FaceTiming my best friends (who live in other states) who, if I'm being honest, are people who have the exact same problems I have.
If I were to FaceTime my parents, they would say: "You can do it! Stop flopping around! Have some confidence!" My friends, however, say what I am most wanting to hear, which is: "It's 100 percent ok to take a day off! Mental health is important! You're doing fine!"
See the difference?
I honestly don't think that I was able to acknowledge it until now. But I like flopping. And, I guess I like self-sabotage. And my beloved friends enable me. The only conclusion I can come to after these observations is that I need more GRIT.
Angela Duckworth, a psychologist and author of the New York Times Bestseller, Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance, puts it best. She states that,
Grit is passion and perseverance for long-term goals.
One way to think about grit is to consider what grit isn’t.
Grit isn’t talent. Grit isn’t luck. Grit isn’t how intensely, for the moment, you want something.
Instead, grit is about having what some researchers call an”ultimate concern”–a goal you care about so much that it organizes and gives meaning to almost everything you do. And grit is holding steadfast to that goal. Even when you fall down. Even when you screw up. Even when progress toward that goal is halting or slow.
Talent and luck matter to success. But talent and luck are no guarantee of grit. And in the very long run, I think grit may matter as least as much, if not more." (Duckworth).
I think that, today, most college students don't have grit. I understand that this is a broad assumption but I can attest that I definitely don't have "a goal that gives meaning to everything [I] do." I mean, really. Does anyone at this age actually have that?
What I can attest is that boredom is inevitable. But if you can actively choose to fight your boredom, you're on the right track to finding some meaning. And once you've finally decided on meaning, it's time to go after your goal.
My next article will most likely be about "Meaning, where it comes from, why we want it, and how to find it." I might choose to write about something else. But for now, I hope that these insights into my life can help bring more insights into yours.
Signing off for now,