Black Rose

Emotions are a twisted thing. They come and go whenever they please, usually in some kind of response to a situation. We have names for them: sad, excited, angry, frustrated, etc. But these names don’t do them justice. Emotions are more than words. More than the moment they are. Emotions are the colors of the human mind and spirit. Formed in such a way that you cant tell what it is. Have you ever felt red? Blue? Grey? You have. You just dont know it. Emotions are unpredictable when youre alone. When surrounded by people, its easy to fake it if the moment calls for it. Maybe your response is true. Only you will really know that. But when youre alone, you have no one to mirror. There is no ones else to tell you if you are reacting appropriately. So you dont react at all. You keep a straight face and internalize it all. You dont want to be weird, after all. Even if theres no one looking, you know what you did. When youre alone, what do you feel? Sadness? Loneliness? Isolation? Maybe. But have you ever felt happiness while alone? Not in reaction to a memory, but true, pure happiness? When everything is exactly how you want it to be and there is nothing to worry about? When you trust that everything that has happened so far has all been for a reason? When you believe that everything is going to fall correctly into place? I cant answer that for you, but I can tell you one thing. Happiness is like a black rose. So rare, so twisted, yet so magnificent and beautiful. You dont think about it because youve never seen one, but when you see it with someone else, you want it. You think of all the ways you would care for it. All the ways you would maintain it. Everything you would do to protect it. But its not yours. The question is, will you work for it? Will you try to achieve happiness? What is happiness for you? What will you do when you have it? Will you be satisfied? They say that human greed is like an endless pit. You yearn for something, but once you have it, you want something more. But what comes next? Love? Love for what? A person? A moment? A gift? Loving someone is difficult. Especially when the feelings aren’t reciprocated. You achieve your black rose and begin to pluck the petals. Loves me, loves me not. Loves me, loves me not. But when the last petal is plucked, what happens? Is that really the deciding factor? Of course it is! Unless we get an answer that we dont like. Then we try again. And again. And again. It never crosses our minds that the subject of our affection may be doing exactly what we are doing. However, the possibility that we are not their goal is a crushing reality and confrontation is a sin. So we continue the vicious cycle. Loves me, loves me not. They say that its impossible to love someone without first having self love. Another black rose. But instead of plucking the petals, this is a rose that must be maintained. Cared for. Protected. You must watch for the people attempting to snip it at the bud. But how will you do this? Cut their hands off? No... confrontation is a sin. Move away? Seems like the best answer. So you move, careful not to drop you rose and carefully maintaining it the whole way. Where will you stop? When you get where you want. But what do you want? Only you can answer that.