Being Picky

I can be picky.

I grew up as a notoriously picky eater. To quote the fabulous Netflix series, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, produced and written by (the even more fabulous) Tina Fey,

"Act like you belong and the world is your oyster."

"Gross. Can't the world be my noodles and butter?"

Noodles and butter were my filet mignon from the ages of 7 to 12 and it wasn't until I started branching out little by little that I discovered the many wonders of different flavors and textures of food. There isn't a food I wouldn't try now, actually. Part of me wanted to be stubborn and prove my parents how truly wrong they were about tomatoes or my dreaded nemesis: horseradish. My dad was a fierce advocate for the vinegary root sauce. We'd have steak and he'd season it religiously with the GOOD-N-HOT brand he got at our local grocery store.

YUCK, right? Turns out I love it. He was right.

I can be picky.

In relationships.

If you're in the market for a relationship or in one already, pickiness is a priority. I mean this wholeheartedly. Listen to me. There is nothing worse than wasting your time with someone you constantly apologize for. I don't mean apologize in the typical sense. I mean apologize in the way that when he or she does something that you don't like or is immoral to you, you find an excuse for it. It's like your heart apologizes to your brain for hanging out with such a jerk.

"I'm sure they didn't mean it in that way. They probably meant.."

"They're not always like this, I swear. Remember when.."

You brush it off. Sweep it under the rug. Eh, what you can't see won't hurt you, am I right? Just like those cookie crumbs under the rug! You can't see them so they're not really there. Except they are there. What you feel and choose to ignore will hurt you. Sweeping this kind of stuff under the rug will only lead to hurt and regret.

Pickiness for the win.

I can be picky.

When it comes to my future.

I am an avid applier. I dot all my I's and cross all my T's by specifically crafting emails and attaching my resumé as well as detailed cover letters explaining who I really am and what I'll be doing for them. I want to stand out as much as I can without seeming too much like a people-pleaser that doesn't have any real personality.

My problem, though, is expecting too much. I can't afford to be picky. My future won't stop for me. What I need to remember in my search is that hundreds of people, just like me, applying too. I might not necessarily land a position with a big name, but it doesn't mean that one at a smaller firm or a lesser-known company won't give me the experience that I'm yearning for.

What one gives to a situation, one gets out of a situation.

We gotta work with what we got. Sometimes what we're given is a blessing and sometimes what we're given is what we've earned. And there's only one option after that: to keep working.

I can be picky.

I am a writer.

What this means is I am the pickiest person you may ever meet in your life.

Besides your mom.

But every word choice, every phrase, every punctuation mark—is meticulously planned in my mind. I proof-read incessantly. I thrive on learning and using new vocabulary. I like when people don't know what the word I used meant. It means I'm smarter than them. Jokes! Relax.

I know that even in this piece I've made errors. I'm sure I'll read it over in a few weeks (or actually, probably even tomorrow) and find phrasing I didn't like, grammar I fudged up, or words I used incorrectly.

But, that's the beauty of writing. It's ever-evolving. A mediocre piece can be transformed into writing that provokes incredible emotion or that tells a story that simply cannot be put down.

Writing can be tricky. I know I'll never be completely satisfied with my work, but it's okay.

And pickiness is, too.