Basic Beginnings

Well, "ideally how I'd like it to go," is a better way of wording it. I never really follow "new year, new me" mantras, but this year is new, and hopefully something about me will be too. Sound less cliché?

Sticking to projects—I've just not been great at it, seemingly since I stopped getting graded on it, despite not giving a knife or fork about them. I think it was obligation, but I can't seem to try hard enough for my own obligations, to my heart and head, ya' know?

Anyway, I have a lot of things I want to do, like a LOT. I feel like I've been trying to do my best, in my situation, to really get where I want to go; Buying the materials, the instruments, the ingredients. Like having them will complete the first step of growth, like I'm basically 1/4th of the way, giving myself breaks after starting because, well, I'm already a quarter of the way to success so why not?

I've come to the conclusion that it's that sort of mindset that's slowing down this entire process. Procrastination leaves room for memory loss, which leads to self-doubt, loss of drive, and just promotes this sort of self discipline that's so independent, so up to you, that the self rewarding "why not?" ends up being "why?" and eventually, you just stop making excuses and don't even feel OBLIGED to provide them anymore. Because why bother? You'll [try] do it tomorrow.

I know this is dragging on for some simple point, but it's a good reference for me to come back to if and when I go through another blockage in my motivation, to help myself out. I've decided structure is a good place to start with any journey, like training for boxers. Side note: Did you know that Floyd Mayweather starts off the dreaded Mondays—the ones where average people barely open their eyes, let alone their minds, till lunch time, only by using a constant flow of coffee to get there—with a six mile run, five if he's feeling too groggy, as a WARM UP, then goes onto gwo hours of gym work, an hour of bag work, and that's it... Until the evening where he'll either go back to the gym or, if he's feeling how we all feel Monday morning—tired, he'll just do an hour of floor work outs. So what I'm elongating is, push yourself to make yourself. Hard work is hard for a reason; it's not a test of the fittest, it's a course to make the fittest. You have to be the fittest in something to make your dream not-so-unachievable anymore. It's like getting your ingredients—a 1/4th of the way.

I have a dream, shout out to MLK, that seems pretty unachievable. To start it off, I'm going to post the most random of writing pieces on Vocal, to get used to routine, put myself out there and to keep reading this piece back to remind me of the what I need to do, hopefully ending where I wanna be. Also to see how my writing develops, believe it or not, I took A level English Lit and Lang... Sorry Jayne.

Song: Logic—"1-800-273-8255"