Altavise Walker
Bio
In 2016 after becoming a young widow. I went on a journey to rediscover who I was. Thus my journey of self discovery, love, and encouragement to others who have experienced loss began. Follow https://www.instagram.com/journeytoome/
Stories (3/0)
A Day
It’s 5:00 AM. “Crap, I didn’t hear my alarm go off at 3:30! Wait did it even go off?” Anyway, it’s time for me to get up and get moving. I do a pep talk to myself early in the morning to motivate me to drag myself out of bed. I know before I even look in the mirror that my eyes will tell the story of my restless night. No matter what I try, the story always seems to end up with the same unhappy ending. Me tossing and turning throughout the night; desiring sleep—taking melatonin and prescription sleeping pills, but still no consistent sleep. I fall asleep without a problem, only to awaken at midnight or 1:00 AM and then I’m trying to fall back asleep. My eyes laden with dark circles and puffiness tell this story all too well. Anti-puffiness serums, coffee, under the eye cold packs and make up have all lied, as they don’t help to conceal my secret. Knowing this story is the same as any other day, I get out of bed and start the day off as usual; convincing myself that I am going to get through the day and it is going to be a great day. So into the journey of my day, as a teacher, I progress. I can pretty much picture how it is going to go before actually even stepping foot into its existence. I feel pretty good today, I must say. I am prepared. I am ready to take on my day! My healthy lunch is ready and I am well on my way to a productive day. I also get to see my son early this morning, so that makes my day a lot brighter.
By Altavise Walker5 years ago in Families
That Control Freak
“I have driven down this piece of the highway many times. I really should know it with my eyes taped shut. Something just doesn’t feel right though.” Why does it feel like I am going the wrong way? As I converse with myself and Diesel; who isn’t paying me much attention, other than to see if I have something like a quick snack that he can partake in. I glance at my phone’s map and then quickly back at the bright green luminescent signs meticulously spaced on the interstate. Looking at one, then looking at the next mile marker. Yep, going the right way. It just feels like I am headed in the wrong direction. Way, way, way back of my mind I knew why I felt this way, I was just to scared to be honest with myself for fear of what my family, friends or any other person who thought they were entitled to an opinion about what I should do with my life or what I should do would think. Of course, they know what’s best for me! Wait, do they really? Do they know what the desires of my heart are or how miserable and unfilled my life feels? Do they really know what makes me happy, what gives me joy? No, not really because they haven’t taken the time to ask what I want. Their intentions are in the right place, they only want to protect me and see me succeed according to the time old formula of how people succeed. Go to school, get a degree, work, get a home, pay your bills and if you have something left over then you enjoy yourself going somewhere temporarily, but right back to the habit of life. So, I sat there with eyes full of tears because I knew that while I know consistency and stability are important that is not the life I have ever seen myself existing within; not the same robotically programmed life that most people live. When I did it often lead to me feeling incomplete and like I was going through the motions, something was always missing. I had always felt like God gave me all these wonderful abilities and I am just supposed to hide them, sit on them because others couldn’t see? That can’t be right. I had to decide, either continue to settle and be miserable or get uncomfortable and at least try and see what happens. So, I called one of my best friends and gave her the run down of what I just experienced. Not at all surprised by her response she replies, “V you know what that means?” Like a little girl wanting to throw a temper tantrum; because I didn’t want to hear those words, although I knew exactly what she was referring to, without her specifically stating, but I didn’t want to face it. Facing it would force me to make a decision that went against what other people thought. I dreaded that, I was so fearful of that. That—standing up for me, taking a chance on me, going against the grain.
By Altavise Walker5 years ago in Motivation
The Unexpected
For weeks, I sat and contemplated possible where do I begin with my first blog? Me, being meticulous and Type A personality, I write everything down. So, in my notebook went writing (ideas). However, none seemed to be fitting for my first blog. Writing about the holiday seemed so cliché. So I pressed paused and hoped something would come to me.
By Altavise Walker5 years ago in Families
