Are You a Yes Man?

Are you a Yes Man?

So, here are a few questions for you. Do you cave in whenever someone asks you to do something, even if it’s an inconvenience on your part? Do you comply with whatever just to avoid an argument? Do you bend over backwards for someone you don’t even like? The answer is YES? Then you’re a yes man and you’re not alone. I am too, and so are many out there!

There is another term for it called a “people pleaser.” It is defined as someone who doesn’t typically say no for the chance of increasing approval from other individuals. You almost always put others before yourself, which can be unhealthy. Let me tell you, it makes life hard sometimes—borderline miserable—especially when it goes unacknowledged or unappreciated. It comes as expected, and then you get caught in a catch-22, not wanting that individual to hate you. It is said that it can be a fear stemmed from childhood. Either one was neglected as a child or they were bullied at one point, which scarred them for life.

I was bullied throughout my middle and high school career and my mother left when I was eleven. She gave me many traits, but this is a kicker! Thanks, mom! The point I’m trying to make is, many go through it and there are ways to put it in it’s place.

#1: Start thinking positively about yourself.

One of the reasons you try to gain approval is the fact that you don’t think you’re good enough. You are! No one deserves your attention and respect more than you do! Cut yourself some slack. Put on your favorite song, make a bubble bath, do what makes you feel better, as long as it’s legal! Don’t let anyone put you down, even if it's a loved one.

#2: Make plans for yourself.

Put yourself to work with your own agenda! No one can get mad if you are trying to live your life and better yourself in the process. Join a club, volunteer, go to a public library, ride your bike, anything to do with yourself.

#3: Say NO.

This may be easier said than done, but it’s the most effective. Just say no. It is extremely important for your mental health to put yourself first. Don’t worry about being selfish or having someone hate you for not doing their dirty laundry or not going to the party you obviously don't want to attend. It’s your life in the end and you only have one, so don’t let anyone dictate it. You aren’t a puppet, you’re human, and the ones who really are worth your time will respect that.