Are Other People Stopping Your Dreams?

Model, actor, designer, carpenter, engineer, screenwriter, author, activist, business owner, artist, spokesperson. Do any of these sound like you? No, they don't. How do I know this, you say? Well, you would not have clicked on this post if you had become/are doing something to become the person you want to be. The names listed above are different "you's," different "you's" that don't exist. Can they exist? Yes, but why don't they? They don't exist because you are too scared.

The problem with individuals like us—yes I include myself—is that apart from the various scenarios we can see in our head, 90 percent of the outcomes include others. All we can think about is: What would my (insert name of a person that you so desperately care about that their opinion can not not matter to you) say if I did this? How would people look at me if I fail? How would people look at me if I try? What if I humiliate myself? What if I can't do it as well as someone else?

These various questions that keep us on our couches, in our beds, and isolated from the world and who we are meant to be, are killing us before we are physically dead. There are four possible outcomes that I see if you actually got off of your ass and did something:

1. You Fail

Simple, you fail. So what? You tried. You had the guts to do what 80 percent of the world isn't doing, trying. It's always simple to talk and to say all the things that you want to do. The difficult thing to do is to try. Let's say that the only person that can see your failure is you. Would you really care that much if you failed? Wouldn't you just get up, dust yourself off and try again?

Toys 'R' US failed. Many Payless stores failed. Sears failed. Kmart, currently failing. One hit wonders failed. Teavana failed. H. H. Gregg failed.

I can continue to name so many more, but I'm sure you get what I'm pointing at. These various people DID THE DAMN THING. They TRIED. Are they going to be remembered for failing? Definitely not in my eyes. They succeeded for so long! Who cares that it didn't last forever (I know that's not the point, but still...)? Do you think these various men and women would have had a shot at failing (yes, you read that right) if they let "others" hold them back?

If there is anyone out there that rejoices at the failures of others, it's because they didn't have the guts to DO THE DAMN THING. You better go out and DO THE DAMN THING.

2. You Succeed

Oh wow! You took a chance, gave not one eff, and now you are living your best life. This one needs no explanation and I am sure it is the result that we all anticipate and dream of having. Succeeding is very tricky and cannot come without risk and chance of failing.

As I write this draft of my very first blog do you know what is on my mind? Well, let me tell you... all I can think about is how many people are NOT going to read my post. I'm thinking about all the individuals that are going to hate my grammar and spelling. I am thinking of all the individuals I know finding my posts and hating me (which makes much more sense in my head than saying it out loud) but guess what, me actually taking the time to write this post is a success in my eyes.

Success (no, not beauty) is in the eye of the beholder. If you spend your time trying to please people, you never will. You may actually become that painter or author and many will still look at you as a failure. The only eyes that matter are yours. Have you succeeded in your eyes? If not, then its time to start. It's time to try. It's time to fail. It's time to succeed.

3. You Are Diverted onto a Different Path

So you've gotten the guts to become or attempt to become the person you've always wished to be, but something happens. You realize you are not as good as you thought you would be. You started painting but you realized that instead of practicing to draw and paint, you spent years sitting on your ass watching TV. You started acting but you realized you never attempted local auditions or mediocre zombie roles and acting isn't what you thought it would be. You enrolled in cooking school but you never attempted homemade food and all this time, you spent heating up ramen, cup macaroni, and eating takeout. So now that you have actually had a taste of what cooking is like, you absolutely hate it and all you've dreamed of has stayed exactly that, a dream.

What now? Well, you started, you tried, and now... you try again!!!!

Imagine that, don't you hate a what if? Instead of turning 60 and looking back at your life regretting everything, you'll be able to laugh about the stuff you tried, the things you failed at, and everything you succeeded in. What a beautiful journey. You left the naysayers in the background and you DID THE DAMN THING.

4. You Fail but You Also Win

This path is not the end of your journey, it's the beginning of a new one. You convinced yourself to try, and you did. You decided to forget about what people may say about you and you started something. The end result was not as expected though because you failed. However, what did failing do for you?

It made you gain. See, sometimes doing nothing can cause us to lose more than doing everything. When we do nothing, we are left with nothing. Simple assumptions and scenarios that circle our heads that continuously fill the void and justify our reasoning for doing nothing are all that is left.

So what did you gain? You gained "you." You gained a person who is willing to try, someone who is willing to fail, someone who is willing to start, and someone who doesn't care about what people say. Those people who talk are probably not even doing anything with their lives. By failing, you have found yourself and there is nothing more precious than looking in the mirror and seeing a confident and strong person who can get up, dust themselves off, and try again.

Thank you guys so much for reading!

Good luck on your journeys.

XOXO