Adapting Goals

Everyone has goals and dreams that they want to pursue in life. When I was a child, I wanted to be a singer. Spoiler Alert: singing is not my forte. It wasn’t until I was older that I discovered my passion for writing.

This love for writing all started when I listened to my mom’s advice. Every time I’d tell her I was bored, she would say, “read a book.” After ignoring her advice countless times, I finally decided to pick up a book. Like many children of my generation, my love of reading started with the Harry Potter series. After that first book, I was hooked. I became obsessed with any fantasy book I could get my hands on. I think books are good investments, even if you only read them a few times.

I remember rummaging through my old journals from elementary school. I had written little stories about all sorts of different things. Even though the stories didn’t make much sense, it delighted me to know that I enjoyed storytelling even as a little kid. In high school, I remember that most of my paychecks went into buying books. This is also when I started taking an interest in Japanese comic books, also known as manga. After spending most of my time reading books, I decided that I wanted to write one. It ended up being a fantasy book about vampires. No inspiration from Twilight, I promise. Looking back now, there were so many grammatical and formatting issues, but I still felt so accomplished completing that first book. This love of reading and writing inspired me to go to college to pursue a degree in English with a writing concentration. Afterward, I went on to get my master’s in Creative Writing. What’s the point of telling you this? After all those years in school pursuing my dream of becoming a writer, I stopped writing. Here’s my “excuse.”

After completing my master’s degree, my husband and I decided that we wanted to start a family. I didn’t have the best pregnancy. I had horrible morning sickness for the first four months. It took a lot out of me and I didn’t want to do anything. I ended up leaving my job because of it. I was also diagnosed with gestational diabetes. The struggle of trying to keep my sugar under control on a tight budget made me become easily stressed. Closer to my son’s due date, I had to go to the hospital every week to be monitored to make sure that he was okay. I had to be induced and experienced a difficult and extremely painful birth. My son was also born with colic, which made feeding him difficult. My husband worked 12-hour shifts and only had two hours after he slept before he had to leave again. I wasn’t getting enough sleep. I know there are plenty of parents who have gone through a lot worse, but it was hard for me personally. So, instead of pursuing my writing career, I decided to focus on my family. Starting a family was also a dream of mine. Now that I had one, I wanted to focus solely on that. There’s nothing wrong with pursuing new dreams, but I don’t think it’s healthy to give up on something you enjoy doing. I felt like I’d lost a piece of myself in the process.

Now that my son is a little older, I’m able to have more time for myself. Even though I want to be a writer, I can’t just accept a job in a different state or an undesirable location. We bought a house and started to settle down. I’ve decided to adapt my goal. I’m going to write simply for pleasure. If it does turn into a career, that’s great. I’ve decided to use writing as a stress reliever. It’s time to stop making excuses about why I can’t pursue my goals. The definition of the word adapt is to change or modify something for a new purpose. I’m adapting my goal to fit my life after becoming a parent. I’ve realized that becoming a parent wasn’t hindering my ability to write, it was my own laziness. I think it’s important to make time for yourself to do things you enjoy. I want my son to see me doing things that I enjoy and be inspired to pursue his own dreams.

Don’t be afraid to go after your dreams, even if your life has changed. All you need is a little motivation.