A Twist on Thankfulness

It’s crazy how our views on different concepts, like thankfulness, shift as we grow older. For me, thankfulness around the holidays has always involved reminiscing the highlight reel of my year and appreciating the largest accomplishments I had made. That is, until this thanksgiving rolled around and I started a new conversation in my mind about gratitude. It’s so simple to be grateful for the finer things in life, yet, I believe we’re missing the point if we leave the conversation on gratitude at just that. So, what about the mundane?

Okay, sure! Let me be thankful for the things I take for granted…I can do that! The simpler things in life like food, shelter, family, friendships, a job, good health, fresh water, the ability to breathe, etc. These things that grace my life every day are not commonplace for every inhabitant of this world. I should take time to be grateful for the ordinary, as any one of those things could be taken from my life in the blink of an eye. But is my work here done? Probably not.

What about the upsets? The downfalls? The lowest moments? There can’t possibly be room for gratitude in that category, right? At first glance, maybe not. After all, I’m definitely not proudly sharing the worst of the worst in our yearly “What are you most thankful for?” activity…Yet somehow, I’m learning that there is room in my heart for appreciation and thanks in many moments I’ve categorized as negative.

What about that friendship that ceased to exist? What about that bad break-up? What about that loss? What about that unfortunate circumstance that consumed life? What about career problems? As difficult as it is to actually practice, I believe every situation has some amount of space reserved for gratitude.

So with that said, I’m flipping the switch from negative to positive in honor of the holidays. Believe me, I’ll probably feel differently about many of these things come Friday, for I was born a dweller and a negative Nancy. However, I’m curious if intentionally focusing in on gratitude will decrease the magnitude of these negative events. Here’s to hoping you relate and can re-evaluate your thankfulness list to include some moments like these:

I'm Thankful for That Friendship That Ended...

…for she was vulnerable with me, so much that it inspired me to open up about the things I was hiding. Though our relationship ended abruptly and we don’t communicate anymore; the openness, trust, and honesty I developed through our camaraderie is something I have much gratitude for in my present.

I'm Thankful for That Break-Up…

...that ended in flames. Having someone in my life that adored me and believed in my greatness was truly a gift. So though romantic relationships gone wrong are never ideal, carrying on with that adoration from my significant other spring-boarded me into confidence and assurance in who I was. Sometimes, having someone who loves you can be a friendly reminder that loving yourself is equally as important.

I'm Thankful for the Opportunities That Didn’t Work out in My Favor…

…so that the right ones could find me. Firstly, I’m grateful that every opportunity that doesn’t exist for me opens opportunity to exist for another. Secondly, I’m extremely grateful that the wrong opportunities repel away despite my endless effort to make them work. After all, life is naturally paving the way for me to succeed where I’m needed and being in the wrong place with the wrong people at the wrong time doesn’t amount to my best. Facing the open future with wide eyes is something to be grateful for when it seems like what you want isn’t falling into place.

I'm Thankful for That Uncontrollable & Awful Circumstance That Hit My Life…

…for I’ve found the strength to overcome within myself that I don’t think I would have found otherwise. Now don’t get me wrong... finding gratitude in the darkest moments of life takes large amounts of healing and time (9 years and counting for me), but it’s possible. Though I’ll be vague, facing abuse as a young teen has rocked me, tested me, and almost consumed me. However, the person that has been formed from that obstacle is something I’m not mad at. I’ve been able to see conflicts thrown my way that just don’t break me anymore and I’m proud that I am tough and able to withstand anything.

Last but Not Least

Here’s your cliche reminder to practice gratitude everyday of the year, not just during the 3rd week of November. Today is a reminder that thanks should ALWAYS be given for all things; the good, the bad, and everything in between. Why? Because these array of moments shape us into who we are, and that is; exactly who we need to be.