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As I get older, I start to feel like materialistic things do not impress me anymore. I am not saying that a new nice dress wouldn't make me happy, but a handwritten letter from a friend or a call from an old lost relative is definitely what makes life worth living for me. I saw a lot of my friends on online sites expressing their grief by posting a picture of their loved ones who recently passed away. Although I understand that everyone deals with grief in a different way, I do not understand why they feel the need to put this on a website such as Facebook or Twitter when we all know that getting likes and retweets will not take our pain away.
I feel like in our society, where many people are struggling with mental illnesses, poverty, and oppression, where so many bad things happen in the world, where oneself is more important that our society, it's damn hard to look in the mirror and have a reality check. But sometimes this is exactly what we need to do.
My grandmother, whom my mother and I lived with for 18 years, passed away on the 18th of December. She left our world peacefully, and today (January 2) we held her funeral in a tight family circle. Her death made me realize that I have spent too much time on dreaming, making up scenarios in my head that will never happen, looking at Instagram pages, wishing for things that I could not afford while letting life pass me by.
Not expressing my love towards her in her last moments is what made me do this list, hoping to make others think of what's really important in their life.
I am grateful:
- ♡ to my mom and grandma for shaping me into the woman I am today. Growing up surrounded by strong women was the greatest gift of my life.
- ♡ to my best friend who smiles and cries with me since we were born. You know that university can't keep us apart.
- ♡ to my friends for keeping up with my weird ass personality. Although I don't say it much, I always appreciate your love and support, and I love all of you! Every. One. Of. You.
- ♡ to my lovely dog Mirette for working like an anti-depressant for me. Your hooman adores your nose bops.
- ♡ for the only person who called me on New Year's Eve. That call meant the world for me.
- ♡ to all my relatives for gathering every 25th of December in our family's pub. Every family have their ups and downs, but when we unite, we can actually light up our whole town.
- ♡ to all the bad people I have encountered through my life for showing me what type of person I should not become. You will not be missed.
- ♡ for the Sun. If she can rise every day, so can I! She keeps me warm.
- ♡ for the Moon. She is always there in my darkest nights where I fight with insomnia.
- ♡ for the elements of the Earth. To water for keeping me alive, to wind for changing its direction when I get tired.
Last but not least, I am grateful for life itself. I am only 18. I still have a lot to learn. There are times when I doubt if life is worth living, but in the end it is all we have. Our body is only a dress for our souls, and when the time comes, we remove that dress, so we can be lightweight again and fly home.