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A Guide to (Maybe) Finding Yourself

You are your own limitation.

I wish I could start this off by promising you a fast, 10-minute, easy fix solution, that I could somehow train your mind, body, and soul to sync in perfect harmony by the time you finish reading the last sentence.

I wish that I could tell you that I'm already there, standing at the finish line with gold medals and busy bustling streets filled with chanting crowds flooding the area, topped with “You did it!” signs welcoming your arrival.

However, that's not where this is heading. I am here to offer up my advice, some “life hacks" I've come across that have personally helped me get through figuring out who I am. And what I feel is my purpose—we will save that long ramble for another day. If you are looking for something to happen within a day or even hours from now, this post isn't for you. Kindly Google “fast ways to improve how I feel about myself” and I'm sure you'll get quite a few of results.

ANYWAYS. Time to get serious.

I feel as though we all go through trying to figure out one of the biggest mind boggling subject (at least to me): “Who am I?”

I don't mean your name, where you live, or who you were when you were 5. I mean, when you sit yourself down with zero distractions, who are you? Do you have traits about yourself that you haven't picked up from someone else? Do you have any special things about yourself that make you proud? Are you confident, are you happy? Are you a lover, or a hater? Someone that can be trusted? Someone that people can confide in and go for help? Are you someone that you would want to be friends with?

No matter who you think you are right now,

You are a stranger to who you will be tomorrow, who you were five minutes ago and who you will be years from now. The astounding thing about being alive is that you were not hardwired to be any certain person. With every moment, we live different scenarios. We might walk by a new face, smell a new smell, hear a new joke, or make a new decision. We have indefinite choices to choose from, choices that help contribute, little by little, to the making of who you could be.

We are not just a mother or a sister, a father, teacher, lifeguard, or even dominatrix. We are who we want to try out, until the day we finally find the people we are okay being. And for some of you that don't want to live that way, that's okay too! There never was and never will be a rule that says you have to be one personality with the same hobbies or even the same lifestyle.The great thing about being human is trial and error.

Finding yourself doesn't always mean going to college or committing to just one job.

Sometimes it means being someone new for a day, trying new things, driving to a different city/town and engaging in the community, being someone else for a day to see how it feels.

Sometimes it means letting old grudges go and starting fresh.

It could even mean getting a pet or trying out a hobby you thought you'd never enjoy. Life holds many experiences with open hands. It's up to you to grab hold and see where it takes you.


Some things I do that help me to relax and feel good about the person I am/ want to be.

  • Little notes, even if it's just on a sticky note or even a reminder in my phone. Example: “Today you are confident.”
  • Going on walks at the end of the day and talking out loud about the things that made me happy that day.
  • I like to compliment someone random at least three times a week. Making someone else smile makes me smile.
  • Pros/Cons. I like to think about how a new decision is going to affect myself or my lifestyle. It helps me to write it down and visibly see how I feel about it instead of thinking inside my head.
  • Ask the people around you who they think you are as a person and reflect.
  • Job searches in other locations—it's always nice to know that there's always other options out there. Even if it seems far-fetched you owe it to yourself to know that you are not stuck in one place forever.
  • -Same goes for where you live.

Lastly, talk to someone you love, someone you trust. Who else would be better than the people that love you for you, no matter who you choose to be? And if you don't feel like you have that, reach out to someone online. There’s always group chats and forums full of people more than willing to help.

You are your own limitation. 

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