Let’s get straight to the point. We all have things that stand in the way of our success. You may act mega confident, it may seem like everything is going just the way you want, and you may tell everyone you're busy for all the right reasons, however every single one of us could achieve more, and having coached thousands I know that there is often something in the way of success and it tends to be rooted in our own minds.
Here are 5 signs you could be damaging your own success, and how to fix them. Fast and for good. Ready?
I ask just one favour before you start: only read this article if you actually intend to take action on at least one thing.
I’ve lost my mojo
The problem - Do you get up some days and feel like you could take on a dragon, run the country, and bake a tray of muffins all before midday and other days just contemplating brushing your teeth makes you feel bleh? What causes that? How can you not even be out of bed and already you are convinced it’s going to be a day not worth bothering with?
The solution - When you're in a place like that it’s important to find the answers on a good day, and not try and locate the solutions to mojo magic on that rubbish day. If you do try and do that you will create solutions that probably involve alcohol, chocolate, carbs, or quitting early for the day. They may all feel good briefly however long term they do nothing for motivation and mojo magic.
Therefore if you are in a great mood today, this is the time to create a box of tricks to keep your mojo moving. What makes you happy? What people what places? What smells? What sounds? Create a playlist that always makes you feel good. Get some pictures printed that some up happiness, joy, fun, success, and excitement. Ensure they aren’t hidden in a cupboard, make them screensavers on your phone, put them on your desk at work, by your bed, so the first thing you see is positive.
Do you have a favourite outfit, accessory, or piece of jewellery? Don’t save it for the once in a lifetime wedding or posh night out, wear it and love it.
If you are in a really lousy mood and can’t get anything done, who do you know that you can talk to that will kick your butt, empower you, motivate you and or support you? Remember not all people want a “nice” comment from a friend, I know that some people prefer some tough love and someone to tell them “snap out of it and let’s do this!” Make sure those that love you know what you want when it comes to getting your mojo back.
The results – When you create a magic mojo box of tricks, it means that as you notice the negative attitude and the procrastination you can instantly do the things that get you back on track. One client said that just messaging me was enough to make them take action and get back into the swing of things. Another knows that they lose mojo when dealing with a job they hate, so they set a timer because they know the job takes less time than they imagine so it helps them get it done and if anything work faster.
I’m not good enough
The problem – Whether you want to achieve something personally or professionally we all have that time where we look around us and think “They are never going to choose me, I’m nowhere near as good as XXX” or “I’d love to do that” basically inferring that it is not something we could ever do. When we empower negative self-talk that says we aren’t as good as other people, the Imposter Syndrome can be empowered. And that keeps us in comfort zones, stops us from taking risks and keeps us from our big goals.
The solution – I get a lot of insults messaged to me for the following exercise, however, I know it works so you can have a swear at me and do it anyway, right? Create a 2-page A4 document of why you are awesome. You see we often have all the facts on why we rock and are good enough for any opportunity or challenge however internally our heart overrules the knowledge of our head in favour of listening to the negative voice. So as tough as it can be to look so closely at ourselves, take the time to list all of the amazing things you’ve achieved in your lifetime. If it’s not 2 pages of handwritten sentences then in my experiences it is not long enough!
Be aware of where you are looking. It’s great to be aware of what the competition is doing, but don’t get so caught up in their journey, skills and success, to dismiss your own. If you know you spend your life on social media comparing yourself to others, get off of it! Social media is supposed to empower us, motivate us, inspire us and help us be happy humans. If it’s not doing that, then give it a wide berth for a while until you feel internally strong again.
The results – One client was so busy thinking they weren’t good enough that they were actively handing great opportunities and promotions to their colleagues, the solutions we created for them enabled them to appreciate what they wanted to achieve and believe that they could do it. They not only used the “Why I’m awesome” document to remind themselves that they could do it, it also gave them the tools and techniques to transfer to other areas of their life to achieve even more.
The problem – We all have ugly days, or days where we can only see our flaws, the issue is when that voice is allowed to be louder than anything else. Imagine being at a concert and wanting to hear your favourite star sing a song but everyone in the audience is shouting "loser!" Will one person with a microphone drown out 100,000 people shouting loser? Not likely, and yet when we listen to that negative voice we are stopping positivity and beauty from being in our minds and that impacts on our thoughts and actions and even our results.
I worked with someone that felt that as they grew older they were less relevant to the world. Raising their awareness to their feelings about their looks and using the tools below you will love the results they got (read to the end of this tip to see what happened!) The impact on their success was pretty severe, they found themselves ignored in meetings, they started to perform badly at work and kept missing their targets they realised that as these thoughts grew and took hold of them they felt older and like their brains just didn’t want to function. They were only good for the scrap heap. Even their academic achievements became irrelevant because clearly, it was about talent which they lacked.
The solution – Become aware of the impact the negative thoughts have on you. How does it change your behaviour? Where you go? What you think? What you wear? By being more aware of what is happening in your head and how it impacts on your actions you can choose to change. You can’t change something you don’t notice.
Are you someone that never hears a compliment or if you do you think “They are just being nice” or “This old thing, I’ve had it for years, it’s nothing special.” Become very aware of the things you choose to hear. Do you get embarrassed when people say nice things to you? If so learn to say “thank you” and nothing else. And if you are going to start paying attention to what people say about you, hold on to their thoughts on you for the whole day. Don’t let your own thoughts get in on the action. Replay those words of positivity all day. They may be irrelevant to work or to your personal life, however, if it is positive repeat it back to yourself all day.
The results – The client from the start of this top tip was feeling depressed and like they were irrelevant to the world. By becoming aware of their negative thoughts and how they impacted their lives they could see that there was plenty of evidence that they were awesome at their job and very well respected. Within weeks they were dressing differently and even got a new haircut. They couldn’t believe that they were even selling more and joked “I only added a new scarf to my outfit!” knowing full well they’d taken themselves on a journey of understanding and appreciating the power of the thoughts they had.
I’m too busy
The problem – The scourge of 21st-century life is everyone is too busy. Trying to organise a get together with friends? I bet you need to come up with at least 3 dates before you find one that works? It sounds great in theory to have lots going on, however, where is the space to calm your mind, come up with new solutions, gain new skills and work towards the things that truly matter in life? I worked with someone who’d had an awesome corporate career however it had practically destroyed their personal life so they quit and became self-employed. Within a year they were just as busy, travelling the world and back to having a partner and friends that were ready to disown them! They hadn’t removed the issue they’d just moved it to a new location. It was causing massive levels of stress and they felt like a failure with a big bank account.
The solution – Spot how often you say you are busy. Or “up to your eyes” or “flat out” do you make time for things or people that crop up? Can you be spontaneous? Spontaneity is good for us. Many studies have shown that we enjoy the things that were unplanned and “just happened” more than the things that have been in the diary for months. How could you be more spontaneous? Would it scare your friends to be more spontaneous? Get a group of you involved and it can be easier to happen.
The results – one client realised that every aspect of their life was planned, in fact, every aspect of their life, their families lives and even their dog's life was planned! There was no room for last minute walks in the countryside to watch a sunset or time to watch a movie. It meant that life felt a little dull. They removed the structure from one-half day a week to “see what would happen” And the whole family felt happier. At first they worried when they had nothing planned, and were going nowhere doing nothing, however, they quickly learnt that those afternoons of “nothing” were some of their favourites, with impromptu board games, dance-offs and walks to the park. It also had a knock-on effect at work in that they “magically seemed to come up with great ideas out of nowhere” and people commented how relaxed they seemed.
If you've taken the time to read this article, what one action are you going to do and when will you start? You see real results come from an internal passion that says "This will never get in my way again" so if you are feeling that you are ready to go. Not got that level of passion and determination, go back and be honest with yourself. It is only you, that you are cheating out of success.
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