10 Things I Wish I Knew at 20 Years Old

I'm writing this story because tomorrow I will be 29 years old and I will be at the point of no return, where it will be my last year being in the 20s. How do people feel when they're at their 20s? Rebellion? Freedom? Away from parents after they hound at us with knowledge and a lot of care (ex. Yelling at things that we shouldn't do or life advice and stories that we must take action on for our path to choose). For me, I was the kind of person where I let the nature of my emotions and the circumstances flow through as time went by. With that said, here are 10 things I wish I knew when I was at 20 years old.Note: You can watch my content video while reading this story. It's best to hear it as you read along.

1. Credit Cards

I get that every young adult, at a certain point in their lives, will need to have credit cards to spend and build their credit score. For me, I never had credit cards during college, only until after college. Reason? I was being smart with my money because using a debit card and college stipend credits benefited me by knowing how to have a budget. Later on in my life, I finally and currently have two credit cards due to helping out my family. The only problem is that my mother used up most of my credit card limit due to her own needs that I said yes to helping her for, which I shouldn't have. So now and still to this day I still have to pay whatever she used my limit on, which put a bitter taste in my mouth. But at the same time, I'm still practicing what I preach and that is to budget. To all young adults or teenagers out there using credit cards, DO NOT OVERSPEND! It will bite you in the butt big time.

2. Don't Go To Community College

After high school, I really didn't know what to do other than trying to go to college. So I decided to try community college because I thought it was cheaper, and I hoped I could get transfer credits to the university I wanted to go to (for me, it was transferring to Kean University). When I transferred to Kean, my credits were transferred half way, or at least 75 percent of them. I was very upset and furious at the same time. I regretted every bit of going to community college for that majority reason. I should never ever gone to community college... Period.

3. Friends Will Become Your Enemies

At some point in our lives, we will be friends with everyone just to have the entitlement of "friends," or never know who your real enemies while they're your friends. In my case, I had friends who became my enemies. From high school, community college, university, and yes, my own Indonesian kind. During those times being a young adult, I tried to please them because I wanted to be part of their crew. Yet I kept ignoring my mother's heed of a warning: "They only using you for their own benefit. Cut them loose and find quality friends who accept you for being you." It woke me up enough that I just felt a shutdown on my emotions and my mental health. It hurts so much, but at the same time, I had to endure. In the end, they regret their mistake of putting me on the sideline. Nowadays, I found quality people to talk to and consider them as friends whom I can enable a conversation. I don't forget, but at times I may forgive.

4. RELATIONSHIPS SUCKS! DATING SUCKS!

This... has got to be the worst thing I could reimagine. The times when I was in a relationship or dating, I was clueless and oblivious to the point that I had to see the bad apple ending through time after time. Granted, I wasn't able to talk to girls or young adult women, I was the type of person who's a shy guy and then fells attraction too easily; which, of course, is the biggest turnoff. I had to learn the hard way badly enough about it. Later on, I did date someone for three years in exchange for being cheated on twice, and not to mention my mindset was bad enough that I went into the corruption of darkness of what we call depression.....

5. Depression Almost Killed My Soul...

Mental health is such a very delicate thing to take care of. We ignored this back a decade ago because no one really paid attention to someone if they were okay or even, at least, if they're truly fine emotionally. My trigger of depression started out after the breakup between my ex, having dated her for three years. From there, I was trying to rebound myself as a temporary band-aid patch to get rid of my emotional wounds. It didn't work... It never worked... Eventually, my mind was snapped and I felt like a lost soul. As time moved on, so did my emotions. I was just a lost dead-sea soul spirit that just wanted to pass by because all of the hope was lost. I even tried the last option of ending my body, but failed because I wasn't finished with college. So I had to pretend that I was okay by giving a fake smile and fake expressions towards everyone. Once I graduated college, depression became a nightmare. It became a character that I created in my mind of seeing my other self. An image that takes the shape and form of all the mistakes I've made, recreated sounds of hatred and words that gave my mindset uncontrollable feelings. I should have gone to professional help when I was 20... Now, I've already defeated the darkness within me by seeking professional help and seeking quality people that understand my severe trauma scenario.

6. DON'T RUIN YOUR BODY & FACE!

I have this compulsive thing since I was a child where I tend to scratch my face whenever I feel stressed, worried, or even when I sleep without knowing the next day whether my complexion will look a bit dark and dry. At first, I just ignored it because it never occurred to me that much, until when I started to look for my career jobs. Looks can have a huge impact, because when being on an interview for a job, you have to look good. In other words, treat interviews like a blind date. After a while, I started to care more about my compulsive ways to not ruin my body and my face. Practice simple exercise, such as reminders or even distractions, along with the relaxation of the mind aka meditation.

7. STOP BEING SO SHY DAMMIT!

I'm the type of person who's timid and shy. I don't say much unless something upsets me. What I learned is that shy and timid people are the most dangerous people on earth. Why? Because once you pissed them off, the force of the anger will burst instantaneously and smear on your face for deletion like Goku's Super Kamehameha goes through you. But the real reason I was a shy person is that I get nervous and I want to be on the sidelines a lot unless I'm being told to call out upon. Later on, in time, my shyness began to deteriorate, and eventually I learned to have more confidence within myself. It's one of those self-improvements I told myself to keep clean and take care of the body externally.

8. DON'T BE LAZY!

You know, the words "don't be lazy" are the three words I got annoyed so much back then. Now, not so much because I always have something to do every day. I used to be the type of person where I go flow in time but not in space, and just let the day pass by with the tasks I have to do. Afterwards, I just drop everything and be lazy ALL DAY AND NIGHT if possible. Nowadays, I keep having to do something to keep myself busy. Either way, I have to not be lazy anymore unless I really drained myself with exhaustion.

9. Books Are NOT For Losers

I should have never ever ever EVER ignored from people that I needed to read books. At first, I used to think books were for losers because the words make me feel bored. Now, I love to read books. Why? Simple, I used to date this woman who had such knowledge, words, and intelligence to the point that I was attracted by her intelligence. It got me curious and she had given me the starting point of reading books that relate to creativity and self-improvement of my mentality. Back in school days, kids were forced to read books and write a summary about it as a homework assignment. I cheesed it by skimming words and fake write by writing something that made sense and did not make sense as well. Now I know that books aren't made for losers, they're made for winners.

10. Love Yourself!

I don't have to say much to this one. You can look it up anywhere on Google or even in YouTube videos or even in BTS Album Love Yourself as well (I've been a K-Pop fan since 2009). Love yourself and you will understand much more than life itself from the mind and body.

For anyone who finished reading this story and video at the same time, congratulations. You've reached the end game part of my life story share. Tomorrow I will be 29 on May 31st and hope that all is best for myself. Hopefully, I can remind myself with this story someday.

Till then,

Wariki