Me Time: Do We Have Time?

Our lives move so fast, it's similar to the USS Enterprise hitting warp speed. We are always rushing off to work, school, lunch, appointments, home, etc. Even when you get home, you think you can relax. Nope, you start to do more things like cook dinner, make sure the kids are doing their homework, cleaning, looking for important docs, etc. Before we know it, it's time for bed and you forgot to set our alarm. Do we really have me-time that is slow, calm, and quiet? I can't even drive to work without my phone going off with a phone call or even a calendar notification reminding me to do something. There goes my brain running in a thousand directions. There goes my stress level adding distractions while I'm driving and working. I just put everyone around me, including myself, in danger. Is it worth it? The important things we do everyday stress us out enough. Sometimes the *ding* from our phones or I-pads make us jump and our minds start thinking things like: great, why is my boss calling me again? or what does my mom want now? or even is he/she calling me back after five voice-mails?!

I personally don't have a lot of me-time. I work full-time and am a caregiver for my father who has early on-set dementia. He lives with my husband and I. I do have help from my husband, but he, too, works full-time. We have to do a lot of juggling between our schedules to accommodate for his appointments and who is going to watch him when. We don't get date nights or me-time very often.

I used to love listening to music going to school. It always gave me the energy to start my day. Now that adulthood has kicked in, my phone goes off and, thanks to blue-tooth, I can answer it. I get an official lunch every day, but I don't always get to take it. When I'm off, I have to check all unread messages, listen to any voice-mails, and of course, check social media to see what I have missed all day. Then it's usually the grocery store to pick up medication and get dinner. When I get home, my husband starts dinner and I am able to take a shower. That is my first me-time of the day. I can't take too long though because dinner is done and now it's time for me to watch my dad so my husband can do what he needs to do. Time for bed. I should be able to simmer down, relax, and reflect. Nevermind all that—all of a sudden, I'm asleep.

As I am watching my dad now, writing this, I realize something: I need to start looking for me-time in the details, or I won't get them. Me taking the time to write is me-time. When I warm up my car in the morning, it's five minutes of me-time. Now I set my alarm five minutes early in the morning, sit up, and breathe in, then out. I try not to think of anything. When watching my dad, as soon as I get him settled, I sit and just look outside, even for a minute. When I am driving home from work and I see the sunset, I just stare, smile, and feel thankful that I get to see it. I don't even think of anything else but how pretty that sunset is.

I never thought I could see it that way. Most days, I feel like a chicken with her head cut off. Other days, I feel I'm in a never ending black hole. I'm tired of feeling like I can't focus on me. I think all the little bits of me-time I've taken has changed my perception. It doesn't take much. Just look for it in the details of your daily life. The things you wouldn't normally pay attention to, like a sunset, could be the details you need to focus on. Take a minute. Just a minute. It's enough.