Life Challenges

Complaining is something we all do from time to time. Something happens that didn’t go our way and we complain about it. We didn’t get the job. We gained too much weight. We have a bad hair day. Our car broke down. We got a flat. We can’t pay all of the bills. Someone said something about us. Someone did something to us that we didn't like. We got hurt. We told someone to do something and they didn’t and the situation turned out bad. We complain about all these things. It’s human nature. We all want things to go the way we expect them to. Things happen, that’s life. It’s all about how you handle the situation that shows your character and cultivates positive energy and attitude.

Complaining only breeds negative feelings, resentment, and unforgiveness. Unforgiveness is not Love. Even if the situation is a result of your choices, it causes unhappiness within yourself. Now as we all know, negativity only produces more negativity. Complaining about a situation is not finding a solution. It keeps you stuck in the situation. You are being passive and waiting around for things to just happen to you. We are to be active in our lives, which is why we have a purpose. When all we do is complain about our circumstances, we don’t see the positive things in our lives. Look at all the situations you have been in and all the life circumstances you have overcome. Stop looking at this one situation and look at the all the good in your life. This will bring things into perspective that one negative should not have the authority to cancel out all of the positive.

Here’s an example from my own life.

I constantly complained about the negativity of a lifelong friend. We grew up together. Now that we are older, we don’t always see eye-to-eye on things. He constantly seems to be angry and acts self-righteous towards everyone. It’s like he forgot that he has not exactly been an angel. He constantly complains about everyone and every situation like it’s a personal attack on him and an inconvenience for his life that we even breathe the same air. I felt that his negative attitude was bringing down the atmosphere of the house. It has gotten to the point that family and friends no longer wanted to come around because he was there. I made a statement that my mother wanted to bring the love and positivity back to her home. That she understood why no one was coming around like they used to, and she missed all the kids playing. Well, I didn’t see anything wrong with this statement. So, I invited family over. I sent out an invite for her birthday and made these statements to them. Well, I got a text back from my sister–in-law saying that the only negativity she sees is coming from me. Well, this really set me back a minute. How could I be the cause of the negativity? All I was trying to do was get everyone together for my mother’s birthday.

Here it is. Because I was constantly complaining about his attitude, and trying to make everyone understand what was going on at the house, I was bringing in resentment and anger on my part towards him. I was trying to fight a negative with a negative by pointing out and complaining about him and his actions to everyone. This caused me to become resentful and angry towards him, which in return caused a very volatile and tension filled atmosphere. All the while I was complaining about him, I was doing exactly the same thing he was doing. Negativity breeds Negativity.

I had to remember that I love him, he is my brother, we grew up together, and no matter that we do not have the same parents, I know him. My family still saw him as family, as did I. Once I started remembering and talking about who he was growing up, and the positive person he was as a child, I started seeing him that way again. I had to remember what he went through as a child that led him to be at our house in the first place. Then I started seeing the sacrifices he made in his life to help my family, not hurt them. I began to realize that yes, the stronger negative was coming from me. Does he still have an attitude about certain things? Sure, but I see it differently, and see him differently. This has completely changed our relationship and the atmosphere of the house. I can now ask him if everything is alright, and really be sincere about it. I can be genuinely concerned about him and his life again. He is my brother.

We may not like the situations that we are in, or the choices we must make in life. But it is necessary to go through these trials for the betterment of the self (Love). These trials and hardships are lessons in self-actualization. By complaining about the situations, we become negative. How we act and react to the situation gives great testimony to the character of you. By staying positive and walking through the trials with love and patience, you give people hope that if you can do it, so can they. You teach people how to have patience, forgiveness, and Love; this is how to cultivate positive energy.

We have all done things in our lives that we are not proud of. What makes us any different than anyone else? Who are we to judge others for the trials that they are going through? Is it not our purpose in life to love one another and help when we can? Are we not supposed to support one another and lend a shoulder once in a while? Through our experiences, we all have made mistakes. We all have learned lessons. Sometimes people have to go through the same situations we have been through, because they need to learn that same lesson. Forgive them. Love them. Support them. And most of all Don’t Judge them.