5 Hard Truths About Life That Will Empower You

1. You can't make everyone happy.

This is a battle you will never win and no matter how hard you try, there are just some people out there that don’t want to be happy... They are attached to their current state of being and there is nothing you can say or do for them that can change that.

No matter how much time, energy, and love you put into this person, you can’t make them feel good. They don’t want to give up their stories, excuses, or limiting beliefs.

I struggle with this a lot myself and I know there are a lot of you who do, as well. I’m a people pleaser. I want to be liked and appreciated, so it's really hard when we put in so much of our energy and time into trying to please someone...and the end result is that they are still just as unhappy as before.

I say this not to be negative, but to be real with you. If you spend your time trying to make everyone like you, we can often lose ourselves because we're trying to change who we fundamentally are for someone else.

Accepting this truth will help empower you. Accept that there are some people out there that just don’t like you and won't ever like you or what you do. I hate to say it, but right now, if you go out, someone will judge you, criticize you, and worst of all…there are some people that may hate you...

Judgment may be from a friend, loved one, or a stranger. They judge you based on what you say, do, how you look, how you live your life. Even right now, as you're reading this blog, there are people that judge me and don’t like me. But I’m OK with that. I know that I’m not for everyone, and neither are you.

Part of it is because people judge themselves. They become jealous. You may be stirring up emotions and insecurities that make them dislike the person that they are.

Hell, even if someone is more attractive, some people will dislike a person just for that reason and try to pick out all the flaws of others so that they can feel good about themselves.

No matter what you do, there will be people that do not like you, and the best way to approach this is to be your most authentic and truest self, regardless of what anybody thinks.

Because, in the end, honoring yourself is the biggest service you can do for the world. The people that do care about you will love you for exactly who you are, so never change yourself just to be liked.

My way of dealing with this is by living my life on my terms and putting my fullest, genuine expression out there. I know I’m not for everyone, and if you try to be, I promise, it's a battle you will lose.

When you’re comfortable with yourself, it doesn’t matter what other people think about you. What matters is what you think about you. Are you proud of yourself? When you look in the mirror, are you happy with the person looking back? Is your creator proud of you?

The most successful people throughout history have critics, and you will, too.

I approach this aspect of life by holding compassion for everyone. I believe there is good inside of everyone, even the bad people out there. There is good in them, too. Who I am to judge them? I haven’t gone through what they have.

I believe everyone has good intent, but perhaps they got lost along the way. I haven’t had their experiences or gone through what they have. We don't know the full story of someone else's life.

I focus on the people that do want and choose to be in my life, and as long as you are honestly and truly happy with yourself, that’s what matters most.

2. You will never be perfect.

No matter how hard you try, you will never be perfect. We often hold ourselves to such high standards and I think it stems from wanting to be loved and liked. But you gotta understand that we will all make mistakes, sometimes do stupid shit, and thats OK.

No one is perfect, and the sooner you embrace that and just start to trust the processes of life, you won’t have the fear of screwing up in life. Stop trying to wait for the perfect situation to go after your goals! There is no perfect time and you will never be the perfect person.

I take the approach of self-improvement and growth and I know things I create or do will not be perfect, but trying and failing is better than never trying at all. You will never reach a point of perfection when it’s time to go after your goals.

You will never know everything there is to know before you start, but you have to start to know what you need to do next.

I was talking with someone I went to high school with, same age as me. She was telling me that she started going to college again,

I said, "Awesome, what are you studying?"

She told me she was studying website design. I was excited, because I used to do website design myself and have gotten clients to pay me to do it for them, so I was stoked to have a conversation about it.

I asked what her favorite platforms to use were, and she told me she hasn’t started to make websites yet because she was still getting her prerequisites in other classes; still accumulating knowledge in subjects that are not even related to web design.

I know a lot of people in college and university that are this way. They are waiting till they get the degree before they start going after their truest goal.

I knew I wanted to design websites. I’ve never designed a website in my life before, but I tried and failed over and over to build one. With the internet, there are certain things that you shouldn't be going to school for. Just keep learning the next step, and the next one, and the next one.

Eventually I became skilled enough at doing so and got hired to do it for a restaurant owner and I never went to a class once. I'm ahead of so many students that are going to school for web design simply because I went straight for the goal and didn't worry about credentials or a degree.

You can't wait to be 100 percent knowledgeable in a subject. Just take a step, any step, towards what ever the goal is. There is no perfect time.

It’s the same with exercise. I hear people all the time saying that they are waiting till they feel better to start exercising when, in reality, just starting is what will make you feel better. Even of it's a ten minute half-effort workout. You're taking steps and are going to get closer.

You won’t be perfect, but that doesn’t mean you can strive for self improvement everyday. It’s a never ending process; you never reach the end. There is no finish line that says “You’ve reached perfection.” Fall in love with the process, not the result.

3. Nothing external will make you happy.

People understand this one logically, but I don’t think a lot of people understand this emotionally.

I don’t care how much money you have or how beautiful and amazing your partner is or how many things you own. I don’t care if you have a body like a greek god. These external things will not make you happy.

The only things that these do are give you short term pleasure and gratification. But there is something called the Law Of Familiarity which states that, if you are around or have anything long enough, you will eventually take it for granted. The pleasure and satisfaction goes away because you become accustomed to having that thing.

Relationships are always amazing at first and you may think that it’s the thing that will make you happy, but what eventually happens? It becomes normal to be in the relationship.

I know so many people that just keep telling themselves, when I lose weight and look a certain way, thats when I'll be happy with my life. When I start making more money, that’s when I’ll be happy.

It just simply isn’t true. I know this starts at a young age for a lot of people. You might have been in high school and you may have thought things like, once I get in a relationship, that’s when I’ll be happy. When this semester is over, that’s when I’ll be happy. When I graduate, etc.

When I get a better job, when I move out, when I travel. Thats it! That's when I'll be happy!

This is one of the biggest lies will tell ourselves. Happiness doesn’t come from out there. It comes from inside. It’s a choice, you control it. Recognize that you can be happy right now, in this moment.

By deciding to focus on what you're grateful for and what you're happy about; changing your physiology, smiling, breathing and being thankful to be alive to experience this gift we call life.

Give yourself permission to be happy whenever you choose to be. Not just when you attain something. You have that power.

4. You are going to die.

Death is something people are afraid of. Most people don’t want to talk about it or bring it up. For me, this truth is empowering. It’s one of those things that makes you have to think about your beliefs about what it means to be alive.

Truth is, we are only here for a limited time, and we don’t know how long that time is. I could die today, tomorrow—a week from now. Hopefully a long time from now. But I think it’s a sobering fact that makes you cherish your life even more.

Right when we are born, someone should tell us we are dying in hopes that we live life to the fullest.

Whatever it is you feel you have to do, do it now, for there are only so many tomorrows...

Seize that moment and opportunity, for there are only so many. Life is too short not to.

I don’t know about you guys, but I want to get the most out of this experience of being a human on planet Earth. Our spirits might go on, but this gift we only get once. I’ll only be me one time, and that time is so short. It could be shorter than we think! So do your best to get the most out of this experience.

I don’t just want to exist and take from this world, but I want give something and leave something valuable behind that made the world better in some way.

Don’t be afraid of death. Leverage it to your advantage and enjoy this human experience.

5. Time is the most valuable asset.

So many people waste their time, and I'm guilty of it too, because they don’t put any value on it. It doesn’t seem important, but it is. Time is a depreciating asset, for every moment that passes by is a chance to become who you want to be, to give to the world, to make a difference in your own life. Cherish every moment of it. Don’t get caught in wasting time. Use the time that you have for what truly matters most to you. What is going to bring meaning to your life?

How you’re spending your time should have a purpose. Even if that purpose is to relax, enjoy just being, but don’t waste time...because it’s valuable and you only have so much of it. Don’t let what's important in your life suffer because you’re not allocating your time correctly.

Spend your time in ways that will always bring you a positive return on investment.

We all have 24 hours in a day, and what’s important is how you use those hours, so don’t spend your time doing anything you hate. Don’t spend your time on things that don’t get you closer to who you want be.

Don’t waste your time at a job you hate. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be 65 doing something I don’t like everyday.

I understand you may have to work that job you don’t like for a little while, but don’t let your time get wasted there. Use what time you do have to go after building the life you want.

Seconds turn into minutes. Minutes turn into hours. Hours turn into days. Days turn into years. Years turn into decades.

Make every moment count, because that moment is a significant fraction of a lifetime.

I want to thank you so much for reading, and I hope I have dispelled some illusions. If you know someone who can benefit from this, please share.

Thanks.

Peace out, heroes.